Three friends from the local congregation were asked, ‘When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?’

Artie said: ‘I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.’

Eugene commented: ‘I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.’

Al said: ‘I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’

PRESBYTERIAN

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted to heaven. St. Peter asks the first man his name, where he is from, and what he did in life.

The man answers that he is John Smith and that he was a taxi driver in Montreal. St. Peter looks through his book, gives the man a luxurious silken robe and a golden staff, and bids him welcome into heaven.

St. Peter then asks the second man the same questions. He replies that his name is Thomas MacDonald, and that he was a Presbyterian minister in Ottawa. St. Peter looks in his book, gives him a cotton robe and a wooden staff, and bids him to enter into heaven.

Pastor MacDonald says, Wait a minute! Why did that taxi driver get a silken robe and golden staff while I, a Catholic Priest and a man of God, got a cotton robe and wooden staff?

St. Peter told him that the rewards in heaven are based on results, and while Pastor MacDonald preached, people slept, but while John Smith drove, people prayed.